I am quitting smoking. I use the verb in it's present tense because I still don't feel entirely comfortable using the past tense. I have fallen off the non-smoking wagon so many times in my life that it may ALWAYS seem like a process. For anyone contemplating smoking - just slap yourself for me. Detoxing when you stop is just ridiculously uncomfortable.

And, you know, you miss it. More accurately, you miss the social aspects.

On Breaking Dawn, I would generally find Rob Pattinson already smoking when I'd go outside to sneak a few puffs in. We would generally start chatting about whatever, he'd get fired up about whatever we were discussing and he would then generally finish his cigarette and ask for one of mine. He'd light another one and we'd keep talking. Then I'd light another one. We would chain smoke if there was a long enough break on set. I hate to say that's how we got to know each other but that's how we got to know each other. As shooting went on, I was smoking a LOT. Getting sick, looking tired, yada, yada, yada. So, I started my daily rant that my wife is ALL too familiar with through many attempts to quit - " I gotta stop smoking".

Rob looks at me and says, "You know, I heard that if you quit before you're 30 you're in the clear, health-wise."

Since I am passed 30, that doesn't seem too good.

"Hey, Rob. I'm over 30."

He just looks at me totally non-plussed. "I know."

Silence. I'm waiting for the "but"…it's not coming.

"Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine. Do me a favor - Go f*** yourself."

He's laughing hard now. He keeps trying to talk but he's laughing too hard. Feigning intense indignation, I get up to go to my room.

"Listen, man. I gotta go. Costco has a sale on caskets right now and obviously it's a matter of minutes AT MY AGE."

Now, he's having trouble breathing, he's laughing so hard. But, I'm still thinking…man…I have been smoking for way too long.